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Fingers Crossed

by Humboldt

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1.
Ruiner 02:07
I'm sorry I'm the disease that eats away your brain I didn't want to rip the wound but our feelings ceased to stay the same I'm sorry that I tore the skin I'm sorry I'm the reason you won't let anyone in I'm a worthless ruiner I'm so sorry I wasn't honest sooner I'm the one here who's to blame We lit the match together now I'm blowing out the flame Both my hands are stained red with the blood of the lie that sounded right inside my head I put this burden on myself I wish I could have known I wish you could have known I wish we could have known from the start that I have a weaker heart
2.
These are the days I don't appreciate the rain The constant downpour of "everything will be be okay" Little drops trying to wash away words that weren't theirs to say Gray clouds looming loud and plain Shouts of thunder hush everything away If only things could stay the same way they were when life held lighter days A new year hopefully brings some change The ground is cold and shame overlooks this canvas The spotlight shines on me I never thought it was so bright I guess this is just how things will be Blind spots have fooled me once again I'm stuck at home with this paper and this pen trying to justify mistakes I've made that I can't regret First semester people have their whole lives set on a map while mine is just a scattered mess Plans of the future roll off their tongues while I'm stuck left cleaning with a dirty sponge This is just wishful thinking in a pocket full of change I'll throw my wants into a fountain and I'm only left with disdain for the past and my choices, left unopened on the floor Everything else that I love is leaving out the door All the years that I worked for are only adding up to shame Count up all the evidence; you'll know who's just to blame I'm tired of swinging up at the cold October air The only feeling that I want is my fingers through your hair I won't let my life be wasted Hope will never fade away I wish that I could say the same for the plans you shared with me I'm sorry we ended this all You ruined my fall This time it wasn't my fault
3.
You can tell all your new friends whatever you want That you don't miss your home and that's great But all that money is a tough price to pay for such a mediocre grade I wanna know what you say about me And how truthful you are Or if you're just as fake as everyone that you've met so far I always gave all and I never gave up And I always made you happy with a half full cup If I wait the four years for you to fall back into me will it all be the same how it all used to be? And I always gave all and I never gave up And I always made you happy with a half full cup And I think I fought too hard for you to leave me here like this because I cared for you more than your own parents ever did Don't ruin this for me You ruined this for me
4.
I only see you when I dream
5.
Salt water caked on my face The ocean breeze is the only thing I taste I feel the cold wet embrace of the waves around my knees The only thing I know is I've never been this weak Because the green gray waves have swept the strength out from under me The only thing I know is that I feel this weak Because the green gray waves tell me that they know what's best for me They don't know shit

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released October 21, 2014

All songs written by Humboldt
Recorded by Cody Fuentes of Rapture Recordings

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Humboldt California

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